Let’s Stop Intentional Unconsciousness
“Intentional Unconsciousness is the choice to deny ourselves the awareness necessary to experience ourselves in joy. It is the act of denying ourselves the God-given right to be fulfilled, loved and open to the possibilities bestowed upon us. ”
Consciousness is a subject that has been the subject of much debate regarding its existence.
As I read about it in psychology papers, there is debate about whether it is universally correlated with a physical “late” activation (in the occipital/parietal areas) or a subjective, pre-conscious “early” experience (in the prefrontal cortex). Ironically, in science, it seems that something which is agreed to be subjective, such as consciousness, still must have a known, physical location in the brain. Yet, the brain is clearly the most complex neural center in our bodies, and it remains to be fully defined. For the sake of argument and in the context of this article, I propose that consciousness is likely all of the above.
Consciousness is the quality or state of being aware, especially of something within oneself.
Consciousness is a choice
I believe that in any moment, we have a choice whether to be aware, not to be fully aware, or not to be aware at all. We think we can fool ourselves and others into not giving away our actual state of awareness. However, the sense of its presence (or not) can be quite transparent.
Consequently, the level of awareness and consciousness dictates the quality of our learning, relationships, and growth, which can be either limited or expanded based on our choice to be authentically aware. All thoughts, feelings, and surrounding activities in any moment can always hold meaning for us, and they can offer some type of insight.
Like a funnel, the volume and quality of activities that we choose to receive and process into our consciousness will dictate the quality of our outcomes.
This is hard work. Being conscious of all activities and the intentions of ourselves and others, all at one time, is virtually impossible. However, the more conscious we are of it all, including the reality that it is not possible to see it all, the more curious, vulnerable, and approachable we become to our possibilities. We will listen more, ask more questions, want to know more about people, love more, and hate less; we will also be more forgiving.
Yet, without awareness and intentional consciousness, these opportunities for vulnerability and seeing possibilities elude us.
Courage requires taking action on what seems conscious
Assuming we choose to be aware and intentionally conscious, when something happens, we can choose to pay attention, absorb the meaning, ask questions, and engage in finding solutions. Or we can tune out and do none of the above -- regardless of how relevant or important the topic is to us or others around us. Assuming we choose to be conscious, the next choice is whether or not to take action. Taking action is the basis of courage.
The choice to respond and how we respond directly impact our relationships, self-beliefs, and outcomes. Our actions also influence how others perceive themselves when they are around us, and how they may choose to feel about us or themselves in the future. Taking action requires being vulnerable to the unknown outcomes that may follow.
I find that taking any action, no matter how small, leads to greater confidence and courage to try again, regardless of the results. Action leads to positive self-worth and more positive outcomes.
Adversely, the vulnerability and fear created by choosing to be conscious can shut people down before they take action. The resulting lack of awareness and inaction negatively impacts people’s happiness and self-perception. Their confidence in others wanes, and ultimately, the degree of success can be significantly diminished for what was initially intended to be good, meaningful work.
I have found that when faced with something new, it is common for people to become numb. They are essentially not present or responsive. It is as if there are too many new opportunities to learn and grow. After all, it would mean changing something, being open and brave, and even being wildly uncomfortable.
Practically, how many people do you know who are currently in an unhappy relationship with a friend, family member, spouse, boss, or coworker? How long has it been going on? Have they tried to engage and resolve the issues in the relationship? Do they feel they have tried? Rather than try something new or leave the relationship, have they incrementally tuned out and become more unconscious of the other person? Do you see how unconsciousness can bring on further resentment and frustration? Then, as the level of unconsciousness and inaction increases, does self-motivation, inner-confidence, and ultimately a sense of worth and courage to achieve meaning decrease?
That is Intentional Unconsciousness in action. Over time, unconsciousness and inaction are intentional methods for avoidance. It is driven by fear and a lack of courage to believe that something better actually exists.
We have all personally experienced this and seen it in others. It demonstrates how increased Intentional Unconsciousness leads to greater fear, a lack of self-worth, a low connection, and a lack of courage.
Distraction is not an excuse for unconsciousness
In an era when technology can seemingly perpetuate unconsciousness by diverting us from opportunities to think deeply and relate personally, we must take time to pause. We choose to consciously use technology, just as we choose whether or not to be physically and mentally available to connect with others. Technology is not the problem. Our desire to find distractions and avoid uncomfortable situations is the root of the problem.
To appropriately position the use of technology in our lives, we must first realize the irreplaceable value that comes from being aware and conscious of 1) our internal thoughts and feelings, and 2) the external activities of people and circumstances around us.
Personal power, joy, and connection stem from being aware and conscious of our worth—and believing that we provide value. You know the connection and joy that result from the actions of self-worth. It just feels right.
While there are age-old stories warning us about the dangers of unconsciousness, let’s not mistake the use of technology to be any different than excessive use of food, alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, etc., as distractions that simply make it easier to numb and disconnect from the feelings of vulnerability and fear.
Putting an unconscious, blind eye to not experiencing love and joy -- or avoiding others’ behaviors for the convenience of not having to deal with an uncomfortable conversation -- or lacking the courage to take steps and follow your instincts to lead a fuller life and career – these are simply intentionally unconscious acts of fear and denial of self-worth and connection.
Nothing, including technology, is an excuse for being unconscious.
Intentional Unconsciousness
I define “Intentional Unconsciousness” as the choice to deny ourselves the awareness necessary to experience ourselves in joy. It is the act of denying ourselves the God-given right to be fulfilled, loved, and open to the possibilities bestowed upon us. This choice denies us the opportunity to overcome the fear of unworthiness. It strips away the opportunity to achieve a greater sense of joy, love, success, and fulfillment.
Intentional Unconsciousness is a part of the human condition, and it keeps evolving with the times. It is nothing new. Perhaps in a newer world of technology, social media, and heightened awareness of greater cultural and societal divides, it is time to face reality and start acknowledging that the fallacies resulting in Intentional Unconsciousness have never been beneficial. Perhaps today there is a greater risk of being exposed to such fallacies, and they will likely be unfairly interpreted. Yet, as humans -- to whatever degrees -- we are all guilty of Intentional Unconsciousness. The question is to what extent it is limiting our individual potential and the potential of those around us.
In summary
As the benefits of technology and analytics provide us with more knowledge and the opportunity to be wise and make better decisions, will we? As we have more studies and information at our fingertips about the meaning of life and how to achieve it, will we be more fulfilled?
Or will we manipulate the benefits of such knowledge and innovations to conveniently misconceive us and keep us intentionally unconscious and less courageous about acting on the differences that we can make in our short lives?
Our challenge to the members of our community, friends, and associates is to recognize the harm that Intentional Unconsciousness can cause and take action to stop it.
Ignorance is bliss. Choosing to be intentionally ignorant is, in fact, stupidity. It is hurtful to everyone impacted in its wake. It fosters fear, disconnection, and a sense of invulnerability to human emotions.
As Brene Brown, TED Talk speaker and author of Daring Greatly, has found in over 13,000 pieces of research, courage is not possible without vulnerability. I believe that vulnerability is not possible without the intent to be conscious, aware, and connected to our feelings, thoughts, needs, and the people and the activities present around us.
Be brave, conscious, and open to the vulnerability that awareness brings. Have the courage to take action on the opportunities and growth that Intentional Consciousness will offer.
Further Insight by Brene Brown
(Overview from videos by Brene Brown, written by Shelley Moore)
Brene Brown, author of Daring Greatly, has found that the basis of invulnerability and disconnection is shame and fear. This shame and fear invoke invulnerability. With invulnerability comes disconnection, and the following becomes true:
Joy becomes foreboding
Disappointment as a lifestyle
Low-grade disconnection
Perfection as a 200 lb. shield
We pretend it doesn't matter
Extremism
Making the uncertain certain
We are numb – we are the most addicted, medicated, obese, in-debt, and busy adult cohort in U.S. history
Brene has found that the basis of shame is the fear of scarcity – the fear that we are not enough or extraordinary enough. She says that “ordinary” has become synonymous with a life of little meaning. To perpetuate this, we unconsciously collect images of scarcity that remind us that we are not enough.
When we numb vulnerability, fear, and the feeling of not being good enough, we, by default, numb joy. Loving and caring about something or someone passionately is a form of vulnerability.
Here are her recommendations for practicing vulnerability and greater self-worth.
Practice gratitude
Apologize when you are wrong
Honor ordinary
Compete with the images from media and celebrate images that are ordinary in family, community, play, and nature.
Allow the experiences of love and joy with your whole heart
Let yourself be seen
Believe you are worthy and enough